here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
