I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
So apparently I’m into choking now
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
