I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
