Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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