Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
