she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
