first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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