Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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