I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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