Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
