yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
