Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
