I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
