I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
