dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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