If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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