Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
