Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
