Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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