Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I need water and some morals
Randomize