she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize