I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The chlamydia really affected his face.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Couch. On fire.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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