I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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