I want to walk on stilts...naked
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
