last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
