Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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