I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
How naked do you want me to be?
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