i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
