my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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