Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Randomize
