at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
