At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize
