you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
