i think i have two assholes
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
