big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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