just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
They took my balls.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
