What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
