You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
