Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
