I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
