i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I love you. Go after that dick
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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