dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
