in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
