SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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