I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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