haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
