If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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