Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
