What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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