Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
