Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
