is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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