Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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