i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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