There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
