She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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