STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Your tits are I can't wait for
I think my fart just growled at me.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
MIDGETS
????
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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