wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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