I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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