Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
