9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
